How to start honest conversations about living with HIV

If you support young people’s sexual health, getting them to talk about HIV is vital. Here are some tips on what to do and what to avoid to get the conversation going. 

Five ways to have honest conversations about HIV with young people 

1. Normalise it   

The more you make it normal to talk about HIV, the more young people will feel comfortable to open up. Make it clear that talking about HIV is a sign of strength and is nothing to be ashamed of. 

2. Pick a good place  

Meet somewhere they feel relaxed so they are in the best frame of mind to talk. 

3. Reassure them 

Let them know it is okay to feel how they feel and ask anything they want – you will not judge them, and whatever you talk about will stay private.  

4. Explain the facts 

Fear stops people from talking about HIV. So explain the facts. Let them know that people with HIV can live a normal life, as long as they take treatment. (Our HIV section has lots of information to help here.) 

5. Show them they are not alone 

Talk to them about other young people in similar situations (without giving actual names, of course). You can share these personal stories, which come from diverse young people including young mothers and young gay people, so they can hear their peers talking openly about sex, relationships and living with HIV. 

Three things to avoid  

1. Doom and gloom  

Don’t use negative terms, like comparing HIV to a ‘burden’ or framing HIV as ‘sickness’. Not everyone with HIV is sick, and no-one should feel like a burden. 

2. Quick-fire questions 

If a young person starts to open up, don’t interrupt them. Listen to what they say before offering advice. 

3. Shame and blame 

If a young person tells you they are having sex, don’t judge them. Concentrate on helping them to protect their health. 

Starting conversations about knowing your HIV status  

Let young people know that regularly testing for HIV is something to be celebrated, not ashamed of. It is key to looking after their health, and their partner’s health too. And it is the only way to end the worry of not knowing.  

If they test HIV negative, they can stay that way by using condoms or taking PrEP. And if they test HIV positive, they can start treatment straight away to stay healthy. If they take their treatment correctly they won’t be able to pass HIV on through sex (known as U=U).  

Use BITK to have conversations that make a difference 

BITK offers advice, videos, quizzes, and discussion starters to help you talk about sexual health in ways that matter. 

So whether you want to support a young person who is newly diagnosed with HIV, need a simple guide on how to use condoms or are unsure how to talk to young people about PrEP or U=U, we have you covered.  

Our HIV testing section will help you start conversations about status awareness. And we have plenty of shareable videos on sex and relationship dilemmas and the basics of HIV. 

It may also be useful to do an HIV risk assessment so you can provide the right advice on testing and prevention.