The meet and greet: When meeting someone for the first time, avoid using pronouns and use gender neutral terms like the ones discussed above. For example, in English:
- instead of asking, “How may I help you, Sir?”, ask: “How may I help you?”
- avoid using the terms Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms.
- avoid using their name until you know what name they use. If you need to call them into an appointment room or cubicle, try tapping them on the shoulder and/or making eye contact to get their attention, then say something like “Excuse me, I’m ready for you now.”
Research suggests that LGBT+ people welcome visible signs of inclusivity. Try wearing a rainbow badge or lanyard if it feels safe to do so.
Dealing with other people: It is also important to avoid gendered terms and pronouns when talking to colleagues about someone you are supporting. For example, rather than saying, “he is here for his appointment” you can say, “they are here for their appointment”.
If they have someone with them, do not assume that this person is their partner or friend. Simply ask something neutral like “Who do you have with you today?”
If they tell you they have a partner, and refer to them in a certain way, do the same. For example, if your client is a woman and refers to her partner as her wife do the same, rather than saying something like ‘your friend’.
Finding the right place to talk: Sexual health can be a sensitive topic, particularly if your client is young and even more so if they are LGBT+. Think about where it is best to speak to them about their issue. Can other people overhear or see the discussion? Going somewhere to talk that is quiet and private means you can approach the conversation appropriately and respectfully.
Establishing identities: When you are somewhere private, ask them how they would like to be referred to. For example, you could say one of the following things:
- “I would like to be respectful. How would you like to be addressed?”
- “What would you like me to call you?”
- “Do you prefer other people to refer to you as he/she/they or something else?”
In a situation where a trans or non-binary person’s name or gender does not match their records, you can ask:
- “Could your record/chart/notes be under a different name?”
- Never ask a person what their ‘real’ name is. This implies that you do not respect their preferred name.
- If you have used the wrong name or pronoun previously, you can say something like: “I apologise for using the wrong pronoun/name/term. I did not mean to disrespect you.”