Personal story: Thando

I got so nervous that I couldn't get an erection

Photo credit: ©iStock/PIKSEL. Photos are used for illustrative purposes. They do not imply health status or behaviour.

Young black man standing in a city street — Photo credit: ©iStock/PIKSEL. Photos are used for illustrative purposes. They do not imply health status or behaviour.

"The first time me and my girlfriend of six months tried having sex I got so nervous that I couldn't get an erection. I ended up trying so hard to "encourage" it, that I ended up ejaculating before I'd even put the condom on. I laugh about it now, but it was probably the most embarrassing experience of my life at the time.

I followed advice I'd found on the internet and stopped masturbating and then we tried again a week later on her bedroom floor [she was moving house] and it was great, I even managed to last half an hour."

What we say

Having sex for the first time can be overwhelming. There are a lot of emotions that can affect you physically as well as emotionally – and that’s OK! It will probably be a while before you feel completely comfortable, and even then this type of thing still sometimes happens. For more information, have a look at our How to have sex page.

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These personal stories have been submitted to us anonymously by individuals who use our site. Some of the stories have been edited for clarity purposes and names have been changed to protect identities.