Why is asking for help so hard? A youth guide to taking the first step 

Young people often find asking for help to be one of the hardest things to do. When you need support, it’s normal to feel confused, scared, or ashamed. It’s okay to be unsure. Asking for help does not make you weak, and you are not alone.

Across many countries, young people aged 18 to 30 share the same worries about their future. These feelings are common, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

This guide first explains why asking for help can feel so difficult. It then shares simple ways to make taking the first step easier. You can share how you feel, even if you don’t yet have the right words. Starting to look for support is already progress.

Many young people face real barriers that make getting help harder. This does not mean you lack strength. Understanding what holds you back can help reduce shame and make the journey feel lighter.

Emotional barriers: Fear, shame, and the pressure to “be strong”  

Many young people grow up hearing three main messages: “Be strong,” “Handle it yourself,” and “Others have bigger problems.” These ideas can make it hard to admit you are struggling.

You might worry you are making things seem bigger than they are. Many young people feel ashamed because they think asking for help means they have failed. But asking for help is not failure - it’s a smart step forward.

The actual situation exists in direct opposition to what you have stated. Many people struggle with mental health, but the truth is asking for help is a sign of strength. Naming your emotions is the first step to healing.

Cultural and social barriers: Expectations and stigma  

In many African and Asian communities, people avoid talking openly about mental health. Different cultures teach different rules at home. Some say “keep family issues private,” while others encourage people to express emotions.

Young people from these backgrounds may struggle to speak up, even when they feel deeply stressed. Stigma can make people afraid, because they fear labels, judgment, or unfair treatment. People tend to avoid seeking help because they fear the process.  

Practical barriers: Money, access, and knowing where to start  

Legal help is often too expensive. Many people simply can’t afford it. Some young people face financial problems which prevent them from getting help. Therapy can be expensive. Transport costs can also add up.

 Many people don’t speak up because they don’t know where to find trusted help. For young people facing unsafe homes, privacy is also hard to protect.

These practical challenges exist as actual problems which are also legitimate. However it is important to know that you don’t always have to pay for support. Peer groups and trusted people can help at no cost.  

How to take the first step  

The first step requires you to start with basic words which you can use to begin your journey. You do not need to have everything figured out before asking for help. You also do not need to explain every detail. A basic starting point will work.  

These tips can help you start the conversation, even if you feel nervous:

“I am not okay, and I think I need someone to talk to.”  

“Can I share something with you I don’t know how to explain it, but I am struggling.”  

“I feel overwhelmed, and I’m not sure what to do. Can we talk”  

“I need help, but I am unsure about how to begin my search for assistance.”  

“I don’t feel like myself lately. Can you help me figure out what to do next”  

Remember, you don’t have to speak right away. You can text, send a voice note, or ask someone to stay with you first. The start of your journey holds more value than anything else.  

Choose someone who will listen without judging you. This could be a friend, partner, sibling, teacher, mentor, counsellor, or healthcare worker.  The first person you talk to does not need to have all the answers they only need to care for.  

You deserve support and you are not alone  

Asking for help takes courage. It can feel scary to open up, especially when life feels confusing or overwhelming. But you are not a burden - and you do not have to go through things alone.

You deserve support, safety, and care that helps you feel understood. If you’re not sure where to start, these resources on our website can guide you:

• Looking After Your Mental Health
• HIV and Your Mental Health
• Case Study: How to Talk to a Young Lesbian