My girlfriend is on her period, can we still have sex?

Three of our Be in the KNOW readers asked us some questions about how to navigate having sex during menstruation. In this blog we answer their questions and, in the process, give you some tips to help make your experience safe, enjoyable and messy (in all the right ways!).

Is it fun to have sex during your girlfriend’s period?

My girlfriend’s birthday is coming up and we were planning on having birthday sex, but she realised that her period will fall on her birthday. We both want to celebrate the occasion, but we are worried it won’t be fun. Should we still have period (birthday) sex?

• Siya, 21 years old, Eswatini

Dear Siya,

First-off it seems that you and your partner have open and honest conversations about menstruation and sex. This is great news as open communication is important for having sex, especially period sex, that is fun for both of you.

While some people report that they experience high sex drive during ovulation, many others say their sex drive kicks into high gear during their period. Another bonus is that your partner’s menstrual flow can add extra lubrication, making sexual intercourse even more pleasurable for you both. Period sex can also offer pain relief for anyone who is menstruating as we release endorphins or ‘happy chemicals’ during sexual intercourse which relieves menstrual cramps.

See? Period sex can be fun and maybe even more enjoyable than regular sex. But the most important tip for fun period sex is communication, which you already seem to be good at. Make sure to check-in with your partner to ensure she feels both comfortable and safe as you engage in this new experience. If you want to have period sex your partner has to be enthusiastic about having period sex too.

BITK Team

Can I get pregnant from unprotected sex during my period?

My boyfriend and I were hanging out at my place the other day. I was on my period so it was only meant to be the kind of date where we cuddle, eat and watch a movie. But one thing led to another and we ended up having sex… without a condom. My friend said I shouldn’t worry about pregnancy, is she right?

• Destiny, 23 years old, Kenya

Dear Destiny,

Firstly, It’s important not to panic. It’s possible to get pregnant at any point during the menstrual cycle including during your period. But the likelihood of you getting pregnant when you are menstruating is low. You are most likely to become pregnant when you are ovulating – 14 days before your period. At this stage it is important to visit a healthcare professional – they will help you consider your options including taking a morning-after pill to prevent pregnancy, which works best when taken within 3 days after having unprotected sex.  Long term, it’s important to consider long-term contraception options such as condoms and contraceptive pills. You can find out about the different options in our preventing pregnancy section. Protected period sex is always the safest period sex!

BITK Team

Is it safe to have sex during your period?

The other day my friends and I were having a conversation and they all said they’d had period sex without a condom and that they had enjoyed it. Naturally, I want to try out period sex, without a condom too. I’m nervous about STIs and HIV. Any help?

• Moyo, 27 years old, Nigeria

Dear Moyo,

You are right to be worried. Menstrual bleeding does not protect against STI transmission. In fact, the risk of getting an STI increases during menstruation. So, the risk of contracting blood borne diseases such as Hepatitis B and C is present during period sex, because of period blood. So it is important to get vaccinated against Hepatitis B and get tested for both. The best way to protect yourself from STIs is using a condom!

When it comes to HIV, researchers have found that if you have a high viral load you’ll have a higher concentration of the virus just before your period. Therefore when these individuals are menstruating, HIV can be passed on through cervical fluids, including period blood, to their sexual partners. However, if your sexual partner has a low viral load, they cannot pass on HIV. The important thing to note here is it’s good to know your sexual partner’s HIV status as well as your own. Using condoms will protect you from HIV, other STIs and unplanned pregnancies. You can also take Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), to prevent HIV.

BITK Team

P.S Tell your friends to protect themselves and wear condoms too. And remember there are plenty of ways that condoms can make sex even better!

Period sex can be enjoyable, especially when you prioritize your safety and that of your partner. Remember to check out the Be in the KNOW website to learn more about how to have safe and fun sex and relationships.