Personal story: Sann

"I am a teenager who likes to have sex with different partners and mostly I do bareback... I’ve been testing for HIV every three months, but last time I moved abroad to work for six months. After that I came back to my country – I got work and had friends and family stay with me as usual.

One day I felt something red on my body and on my arm, a kind of rash, so I went to the clinic to get checked out. The doctor said I had an allergy and gave me some medicine. A few days later there was no change, so I did some research about the signs and symptoms of HIV. After that I went back to the clinic for blood tests and also to test for HIV.

I was really scared to find out my results. When the doctor told me that I was HIV positive I was really shocked. My mind went blank, and I couldn’t move. ‘What am I going to do’? I thought. I tested for HIV three more times just to make sure, but the result was the same. Once I knew I was positive I got really upset and felt down every night. I started looking on Instagram for people who have experience of living with HIV. I chatted with one guy, and he cheered me up a lot. He also told me about his experience of antiretroviral treatment and taking care of himself.

I feel so relieved now because I know that I can live a long and healthy life with treatment, but I still haven’t told my family. I tell myself that the right time will come rather than just saying it out loud.

My message to anyone reading this story is, ‘If you love yourself, practice safe sex.’"